First of all, let me address something, what I mean by the title is sometimes when we are not feeling our best people are always trying to fix us. Why is “not okay” not okay? Now, as a teen who has struggle depression, anxiety, and all that fun stuff I can say it makes most days a shit storm in your mind. Some days you can’t even remember what a good day felt like. A day where you can just breath and laugh at stupid things; however this is not what we are talking about today as you already know.
In this world when you sometimes look at the sky and want to die or when you can’t breathe because you have to pay for something, that means you are ‘mentally ill’ which is fine. I know sometimes, I freeze or just won’t go to the store because I will have to pay for something. It is an illness in your brain but that’s not a bad thing, there are millions like you, like me. After you live with it for a while, you learn what a bad day is for you and what a good day is, you just learn to live with it.
Something some people need to understand is that sometimes you just don’t wanna be ‘fixed’ you just want to be left alone, you just want to sit in your room and listen to your sad music or stare at the wall. Some days, you don’t want to sit and talk about it or leave and face the world, you just don’t wanna be fixed that day. This does not mean you give up, it just means you want space to breathe before your head blows up with the thoughts you already have. You get tired of people asking “are you okay?” Or “what’s wrong?” You just want to be ‘not okay’ and that is okay. When you have a mental illness, you are always tired of fighting your demons and talking to people around you who just don’t understand, it is hell on earth.
Now yes, sometimes it is a great feeling when someone asks you “how are you” and it can help a lot so I’m not saying not to ask at all. I’m saying if we say “No, I’m good” that does not mean we are okay, it might mean we just don’t wanna be fixed at the moment. When you live with something like this, you learn the earliest way to live but when sometimes that is too hard some days. There is no handbook or magic pill, you learn as you go and some days you just want to lay in bed with your madness and not deal with being ‘okay’. So, listen here all of you beautiful madness ran minds, sometimes “not okay” is okay.
If you have something you want me to write about in particular, please comment
- The Voice Of Much Madness
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